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A Girl With No Name

February 10, 2017

If you woke up one day

To find you were me

You’d tear out your eyes

You’d claw till you bleed

Cause if you felt my memories

And lived through my dreams

My story would wreck you

And break you down to your knees

 

Born with a name

That I didn’t believe

Born with a broken heart

Stitched onto my sleeve

In a world full of shame

In a town with no dreams

My soul laid to waste

Beneath barren trees

 

My hands are tattooed

With the ink of my sins

I could lie to you,

Promise I’ll never do it again

But if you woke one morning

Inside of my head

You’d take the blade to the vein

To watch the blood run red

 

I’ve been reborn a few times

Each kills more than the last

I’ve died young, and grown old

In a place that won’t last

I’ve run with demons

Through streets stained in blood

I’ve touched the fire

And I’ve seen the flood

 

I’ve been beaten and bruised

And bloodied and raped

They’ve hit me and kicked me

And spit in my face

I’ve been wasted and thrown out

Like an old peace of meat

I’ve been shut down and shut up

And battered and beat

They’ve used me, abused me

And called me a whore

They’ve chased me and killed me

And brought me back for more

I’ve been screaming since I woke up

You’ve been asleep this whole time

So tell me, how would you cope

If you had my life?

 

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while you were dreaming, I couldn’t sleep

April 7, 2016

Love is
When the ring you gave me
Turns my finger green and
I hide it from you, so you won’t be embarrassed
I dont mind the green
Anyway
The ring is beautiful and
You are beautiful

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dust to dust

January 22, 2016

There was something about your soul that lit me on fire
And something about your heart that chilled me to the bone
When I said my secrets out loud you didn’t hear them
Because you didn’t want to

I’ve spent years in the desert, but even that emptiness doesn’t compare to living with you
All I gave you was everything I had
All I got from you was silence

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I miss you when you stand next to me

January 17, 2016

It was when we’d sit in silence in a still moment
I used to feel closest to you
When did we first start growing light years apart?
I regret taking for granted when I was comfortable in the quiet with you

You’ve drifted so far ahead, I’ll drown before I could ever find you
I reach out my hand with the mad hope that I’ll feel you close to me again
Each time you pull away, I die
I die every night, a thousand times over

I’ve grown uglier than when we had first met
Because you look at me differently
If you look, at all…
I always smile, but I just can’t shine anymore
I wonder if you or I will ever feel beautiful again

My soul cant touch yours anymore
You built twenty-foot walls to keep me out and keep your secrets weighing on your mind
I lost the will to trust you,
And you were the only person I could believe in

You became an expert at letting me down
I just wish you’d let me down easy

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“The love that we had was just selfish and sad”

December 29, 2015

I don’t know how to tell you

How livid I am

I can’t explain the way my veins ignite

When you say her name

Don’t tell me that she’s beautiful

Or that she just needs a friend…

When I needed a friend, I couldn’t find you anywhere

 

Go win over your damsel in distress

I don’t need a fucking savior

If you want to run away with her, you’d do us both a favor

But don’t tell her I’m some villain,

Don’t tell her my name.

If I’d told you I was broken too, would anything have changed?

When I needed to be saved, I couldn’t find you anywhere

 

Run off with your princess

But you ain’t no goddamn king

Maybe she’s soft enough to win over your ring

You can tell her I’m a wicked witch, out to steal her diamonds

But don’t tell her that I’m ugly

When I’m more than you deserved…

When I was at my most beautiful, I couldn’t find you anywhere

 

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Love’s Requiem

December 11, 2015

As I watch you drift further from me

Like two rocks in the emptiness of space, pulled apart by a different orbit

I reminisce on how we first fell together

It was nothing but gold dust and magic, then…

Now I’ve spent the last 6 months missing your fading memory

 

This is me, desperate and starving for air

Locked in a cell where your soul used to visit,

Driving myself to madness over your apathy

I’m completely alone from the moment you walk in the room

Your presence so cold, I can’t breathe

 

I wish I knew how to tell you

Who you are to me,

What I need from you,

How it feels to miss you,

Without tearing my own heart to pieces

 

 

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The story behind an invisible tattoo

May 17, 2013

Simple complications turn into words that are bigger than I know the meaning of
You stumbled upon me on the bathroom floor when you went looking for reason
Crying like a new born at the sight of what you’d found
You saw that I wasn’t what you wanted for me
I laughed… because I didn’t understand.

I still can’t be genuine when I’m telling you all my secrets
And you can’t pronounce my name

Did you know, all that blue in my veins used to course through my eyes?
I used to sing pretty songs about summer nights
I used to wear dresses on Sundays, and curls in my hair.

If I take back what I gave the world and give it to you
Maybe you’d see who used to live behind the skeleton girl standing before you today,
With broken shoes, weak arms and fragile bones.